Wonder Women

Hello you all.  I hope that you are having a “wonder”ful week.  I am good for the most part and making progress on the goals that I’ve set.

So, as I grabbed my laptop and coffee to begin writing this week’s blog, I remembered that today was the day that Wendy Williams was going to have the sit down with Hip Hop Journalist, Dee Barnes.   Those who have been with me and Marilyn’s Café Society for a while know that I grew up loving and appreciating most music including Hip Hop/Rap.   Needless to say, I quickly tuned in and began typing the blog.  When the Dee Barnes segment started, I gave the show my full attention.  I wanted to hear her speak; hear her full story; hear that she is now okay.  I also wanted to hear how Wendy would handle the talk with Dee.  And, she did not disappoint   Wendy and Dee left us wanting to know, hear more of the story!

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s the back story.  Dee Barnes is a pioneer Hip Hop artist and television host who was brutally beaten in the early 1990s by Hip Hop Icon, Dr. Dre because he was offended about how his group was portrayed in an interview that was conducted by Dee.  (For the record, Dr. Dre is a changed man and has publicly apologized to all the women he abused in his past.)  Now back to Dee, apparently, the backlash of the interview and the altercation resulted in Dee being black balled in the industry which led to the ending of her career.  Over the years, she has been relegated to minimum wage jobs and infrequent freelance work.  More recently, she faced eviction from her apartment so she started a GoFundme page and went public with her situation.  This all got Wendy’s attention and resulted in today’s talk segment on the Wendy Williams show.

While watching Dee attempt to talk today about what happened to her, I couldn’t help but think about that question that has plagued the black community and, quite frankly, society in general.  How can a man speak and be so violent toward, disrespectful to, and dismissive of their human counterpart, their gift from God—woman?  And, more importantly, how could other women know about it and remain silent OR, worse, go along with it?  Since this is a question that has been raised from way back when, many have attempted to answer it.  The most popular answer that I’ve heard so far is this—many are concerned about their own social and economic standing.  They don’t want to be shunned or black balled too.  They don’t want to be the next victim so, they say nothing OR simply go along with it.

But God!!!!  I know some of you all get tired of me bringing up God but how could you not see him operate in this despicable story.  Dee was kept!  God gave her the strength and courage to say something about her situation which, again, led to the outpouring of support that she is NOW receiving.  I curtsy Wendy Williams for shining the light on Dee Barnes’ story and giving her and her daughter a place to live.  I also raise my glass to Wendy for putting on her “Wonder Woman” business cape and offering her (Dee) a publishing and movie deal.  #LikeABoss The results of this “lift” for Dee Barnes will no doubt change her life.  She will now have financial security for her future and the future of her children.  I trust that Wendy will fair well too. Blessings Abound with God Speed for both women.

Well, what a “wonder”!  I ended up writing a completely different blog today.  This is it!

Hey remember to tune in Saturday, April 20th, 2019 for the next show on https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Be sure to “like”, subscribe, share, and/or follow my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook, YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.  Peace.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

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Beautiful Body

Hey there!

A picture landed in my social media this past weekend.  I discovered that it’s something that has been floating around for a couple of years now.  It was a picture of few people standing in the pews of a church but the focus of the shot was on a young lady who was wearing a sweater dress that fully covered her body.  Sounds appropriate, right?  Well, here’s how some of the comments about the photo read-

“I bet the church mothers let her have it for wearing that dress.”

“What was she thinking?”

“Who wants what she’s selling?”

“This dress is not appropriate for church!”

You get the picture? {Pardon the pun.}  So the problem was not solely the dress.  I know for sure that if a physically less endowed woman wore the same dress, there would not have been a problem. The woman in the photo was ”stacked”, “curvy”, or as the Commodores sang…”36-24-36–A Brick House”.  LoL!  Seriously, the male and female human body is beautiful.  Some are just near perfection!  And, not just on the outside but also inside.  The human body is an amazing super machine made by God.  The source of the negative or critical response some had with this woman wearing the dress to church is their acute awareness of the beauty of the woman’s body.  The overwhelming beauty caused them to become uncomfortable.  It doesn’t matter if the dress was worn in the church or the club.  The response would have been the same.   It’s like the days when the sun is fully shining.  We enjoy the beauty of the sun and the energy it exudes but it is difficult to look directly at it because it’s soo powerfully beautiful!  So, let’s respond to the comments and questions that I repeated on this blog.

First of all, why would the church mothers (the seasoned Christians) be so judgmental and condemning of the young lady?  Why would they want to shame her for being so beautiful.  Is that how Jesus would handle her? No.  He would probably compliment her beauty and then recommend a more modest attire for the church house.  Secondly, the young lady honestly may not have given any thought to wearing that particular dress to church—a spiritual, religious place. Or perhaps she didn’t have anything else to wear.  Or perhaps she put the dress on and thought, I’m beautiful so I’m going to wear it but not realizing she and the dress would be a distraction.  Or, perhaps she was expecting the more seasoned saints to appreciate her God-given beautiful body without sexualizing and/or judging her.

Was she selling sex by wearing the dress?  I don’t know her to say.  Again, she may have innocently thought that she was cute.  Neverthless, those who have been “churched” from childhood or young adulthood were taught to dress modestly.  Ok, just in everyday life many of us (women) were taught by our parents to dress modestly period as a means of self-protection because to some our beautiful bodies can be reduced to sexual objects.

Lastly, as I stated earlier, had the dress been worn by a less endowed woman, there would not be a discussion.  However, the church is a spiritual place.  People congregate there to connect with God.  They are all on different levels of their spiritual journey so one could see your beautiful body and not get aroused or distracted; while another person that is not spiritually mature would objectify you sexually and become very distracted.  I advise women to maintain a level of modesty when dressing for church and life.  Those with exceptionally beautiful bodies must protect themselves.  In our youth, and especially for those who love fashion even as we age, it’s difficult to dial back sometimes.  It’s just fashion for goodness sake!  Right?!  No.  Listen, despite having a God given beautifully made body, you may not be able to wear a particular style/fashion of dress and if you do, you must cover creatively.

Remember to tune in Saturday, April 13th, 2019 for the next show here https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Be sure to “like”, subscribe, share, and/or follow my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook, YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.  Peace.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

Conceive. Believe. Achieve.

Hey everyone.  I hope that you all are doing well as we close out the first quarter of the new year.  I hope that as you self reflect; self evaluate, revisit goals and projections that you discover that you have met or exceeded your expectations.  If not, I hope that you at least remained steady or the same.  After all, slow and steady is certainly better than going backwards or downward.

Okay, so you did end up in the negative or went the opposite way of your goal or expectations?  Ask yourself, how did I get here?  What did or didn’t I do?  What changes do I need to make?  Are my goals and expectations realistic?  And, most importantly, are my goals and expectations someone else’s or mine?  This form of critical thinking really works no matter what you are doing be it business, personal, work or career, relationships, etc.  Listen, you don’t want to waste your time attempting to achieve something that is not really in your heart or capacity to do.

God has given us all unique talent, gifts, passions, abilities, and assignments.  What are YOURS?  And, some goals that we make are actually God given blessings and promises.  Good health is one of them.  So, if that is a goal of yours, go through the questions; make the necessary adjustments; and truly commit to achieving good health.  Is singing your gift?  No one taught you how to.  You didn’t have to practice.  You simply opened your mouth one day and a beautiful sound came out!  That’s a gift.

Let’s say that you hear others sing and decide that you “want” to sing.  You open your mouth and a not so beautiful sound comes out.  LoL  Well, now you have to practice, practice, practice.  Some people will get better and better but for them it’s work!  Others will not get better no matter how much they practice.  They certainly weren’t born with the gift and can’t even develop the talent through practice.  If that’s you (singing is used as an example and this could be anything else), perhaps you should move on to something else.  Don’t waste another month or quarter.

What’s that you ask?  What about prayer?  Yes, we know that prayer works so if you are truly serious about achieving whatever it is (singing, dancing, teaching, chemistry, business, etc.) that you are not good at, go to God in prayer about it.  He really is a miracle worker!  One of my favorite sayings from back in the day was and still is “if your mind can CONCEIVE it and you BELIEVE it, you can ACHIEVE it.  Don’t just dream it.  Be it!”

However, keep in mind that if you don’t get better; if you don’t master, achieve, excel, exceed all expectations in it; then, again, perhaps “it’s” just not for you.  It’s not your gift or talent.  You should be doing something else and it is up to you to discover what it is.  Now let’s get to work so that we can hit our second quarter goals!

Remember to tune in Saturday, March 31st, 2019 for the next show.  Also, this Thursday my next Karioke Moment“ will be posted at https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Be sure to “like”, subscribe, share,  and/or follow my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook, YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.  Peace.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

It’s A Small World After All

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Earlier this week as I wrapped up my conversation with a friendly middle-aged man from Brazil, I realized that I have met and/or have friends or associates from all continents of the world with the exception of one.  I’ll let you take a wild guess at which of the seven that I have not met anyone. LoL  Anyway, my new acquaintance told me that he lives in an area that’s similar to a suburban area here in the United States and that its near the ocean.   He went on talk about the natural beauty there and how the weather is just about perfect year round. Well, needless to say, after listening to him, I’m now feeling that I’m just one more polar vortex away from relocating!!

You know, I’ve met and have friends or acquaintances from all over the world; and the one commonality that they all have is their sincere openness to connect with others and/or me specifically.  Most that I’ve met over the years, didn’t care that I was a woman or “of color”.  They just wanted to talk about their home country and learn more about the United States of America and its people.  Imagine, if we all shared that same honest interest to connect with each other as well as people from other countries; the title of this blog would ring true.

Speaking of connecting, be sure to tune in next Saturday, March 16th, 2019 as I connect with a young lady from the continent of Africa.  Also, by this Thursday my next Karioke Moment“ will be posted at https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Be sure to “like”, subscribe, share, and/or follow my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook, YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

In Memory of…

Happy March!

And, Happy Women’s History Month!  My goodness, this February has certainly been a wonderful Black History Month—especially in the City of Chicago.  Wait.  You haven’t heard?!

Chicagoans have voted two Black women as contenders to become the city’s first black woman to be Mayor.  Yes!  By next month this time, Chicago will have its first Black female mayor.  It will be Toni Preckwinkle or Lori Lightfoot.  What a wonderful way to move into the month of March, Women’s History Month.    My mother would love this!

So, as I write this blog, I am also watching “The Green Book…” documentary on the Smithsonian television channel.  Not the Oscar winning movie but “The Green Book:  Guide to Freedom” which is a new documentary that tells the history of the “real” Green Book.   The filmmaker is Yoruba Richen.  The book was a pre-civil rights era U. S. travel guide to “safe” businesses for African-Americans.  The author was a Harlem, New York postal worker named, Victor Green.  It’s noted in the book and documentary that many of the “safe” business owners were not only black but also women!  Keep in mind that this publication was in print from 1936 through 1967.

My mother would be so proud to learn about the documentation of African-American and women owned businesses.  She told us stories about some blacks during those times went into business for themselves because of severe racism and segregation.  And now, “The Green Book” serves as an historic documentation of that fact.   I encourage you to go to the Smithsonian Channel to find out the dates that the film will re-broadcast.  It’s worth the time spent viewing it.

Well, as you know, I did not broadcast the show this past Saturday.  I’ll be back next Saturday, March 9th, 2019.  In the meantime, check in later in the week for the “Karioke Moments“ at https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Also like, subscribe, and/or follow me on my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook and YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.

I dedicate this blog to the loving memory of Norrisa Griffin Harris, my mother.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

For Goodness Sake

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Hello,

Well.  It has happened again!  Another senseless mass shooting has taken place here in Aurora, Illinois at a manufacturing workplace.   The shooter reportedly opened fire after he was told that his employment with the company was terminated.  He killed five employees and wounded five police officers during a shootout.  The police killed the shooter during the exchange of fire.

According to this CNN report from about a year ago, here’s where the United States stand compared to other countries when it comes to gun violence.

“There are more public mass shootings in America than in any other country in the world.   The U.S. makes up less than 5% of the world’s population, but holds 31% of global mass shooters.  The countries with the most mass shootings from 1966 to 2012 are the United States with 90; Philippines with 18; Russia with 15; Yemen with 11; France with 10.”

There it is.  Now, what are we going to do about it?  I know that we are better than this.  We know better than this.

This may come off as “simple thinking” but I honestly believe that people are good.  If we spread goodness, advocate for goodness, uphold goodness, protect goodness, live goodness, breathe goodness, project goodness, legislate goodness, come from a place of goodness in all areas of our living; we could reduce those numbers drastically.  For goodness sake everyone, let’s just do it.

Prayers, condolences, and love to the families and friends of all the victims of this tragedy.

Be sure to check out https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety.  Also like, subscribe, and/or follow me on my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook and YouTube; and www.marilynscafesociety.com.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

Being Authentic and Relatable

Saturday, February 9th, 2019

Hey there.
As promised, here is this week’s blog. As stated during the “live” broadcast today, this has been a challenging week. It’s not that I didn’t have content or the time to blog. I mean, I have a lot to blog about but I chose not to share because I was concerned that I might over share.

We are living in a time when many believe that in order to be relatable, we must show and tell to everything about ourselves if not “errrrthang”– your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, experiences, likes, dislikes, ups, downs, “inny or outy”, etc. LoL

I get it. People need to know that we are human and I want to be authentic when sharing.  So here we go. Ready?!! As I close this week’s blog, I am feeling disappointed because the Houston Rockets just lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder. I was excited at some point during the game because Houston had a 20 point lead.

More importantly, my mother and brother’s transition dates are approaching and no matter how hard I try not to think about it or feel sad. I do.

Ok. So, I’m sleepy and that’s all I got for this blog. For more on my thoughts and experiences, be sure to check out today’s short show on https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety. Also, check my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook and YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

An Important Goal

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Hi.  Welcome to this week’s blog.

If you are in the regions where the temperatures have recently been well below zero, I hope that you are staying safe, warm and cozy.  The weather forecasters are predicting a “heat wave” (30 to 40 degrees above zero)  for U. S. mid-westerners on Super Bowl Sunday.  Please govern yourselves accordingly!  LoL!!  Oh wait.  Can I “laugh out loud” on a blog???!!!

During the show last Saturday, I shared some pointers on how to set and realize goals.  Today, I’m going to share one of my short-term, long-term and forever goals.  What is it you ask?  It is staying mentally and physically agile.  It is so important particularly as you get older.  Here’s a few basic ways to do so.

  1. Maintain healthy, loving social connections and social life. Adults need to “play” with others too.
  2. Continue to learn new things. It is excellent exercise for the brain.  The more you learn, the more you realize what you don’t know.
  3. Eat healthy. Remember what your parents said…”eat your fruit and vegetables”.
  4. Get plenty of daily exercise/activity. Dance, walk, jog, run, skate, play sports, etc.
  5. Get good sleep and rest.
  6. Find and/or maintain a hobby or activity that you enjoy doing.
  7. Pray, meditate, grow daily in your spiritual life.

Listen, if we don’t strive to meet this one goal of staying mentally and physically sharp, it would be difficult to reach more specific goals that we set in our lives.  Ok,

Well, there may or may not be a show this Saturday.  My plate is full right now but I am attempting to get it done.  Stay tuned and check my social media platforms at marilynscafesoc on Twitter; Marilyn’s Café Society on Facebook and YouTube; and marilynscafesociety.com.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Marilyn

Winter Time

Hello friends,

I truly struggled to come up with something to say on this edition of the blog.  I brainstormed.  Surfed the net.  Flipped through pages of magazines.  Nothing.  Is this what writer’s block feels like?

Anyway, I finally decided that I’ll write about the weather!  I know.  There are a myriad of other “hot topics” that I could chime in on. For example, I could share commentary on a follow-up on the R. Kelly blog; the kid who stared down the native American drummer; the government shutdown; another shooting in Florida; the Oscar nominations; etc.  However, I don’t want too. I simply don’t have anything to day.  I don’t want to address any of it.  At least not right now.  You know how it is when you just need a break. Right!?

And so, the weather it is.  Well, not daily weather as in today’s temperature or forecast but seasonal weather…specifically winter.  Winter wraps up the year with shorter days of light and cold or cooler temperatures.  Some forms of life even go into hibernation during this time of year!  Most flowers and other greenery retreats back to the ground from which they came. Even humans tend to slow down, become dull, or in some cases come to a standstill during winter months.  Some of us get sad, melancholy, or depressed.  Hearing and/or reading about the current affairs/state of the country and world can also have an impact on our disposition or state of mind.  We must use the downtime to reflect, plan, prepare.

People, we cannot sink into a world of despair!  Cheer up!  Spend more bonding time with family and friends.  Remember, spring is on the horizon.  Yes, more daylight, renewal, and growth is on the way!

Live. Laugh, Love.

Marilyn

 

Hurt People, Hurt People.

Tuesday, January 15th, 2019

Hey there.  I made it to the blog again!  This time it just took a week.  What prompted this blog?  Well, I recently watched the “Surviving R. Kelly Docu-Series” on Lifetime TV and was moved to comment.

As I reflect on the life and legacy of Dr. Martin L. King Jr. (today is his actual birthday), it pains me that we (as a society) are still addressing acts of disrespect and cruelty towards children, women, and fellow human beings in general.   Dr. King championed the fight for civil and equal human rights for all and specifically African-Americans.  The result?   Legislation and laws were passed to ensure that we all could walk in Godfidence knowing that we are all equal and must be treated accordingly.  Dr. King and other freedom fighters sacrificed so that we could live out our God given dignity, respect, and the right to pursue and achieve our dreams.

Imagine that while some were in the process of reaping the benefits and/or taking advantage of opportunities created as a result of the hard fought civil/human rights work, a 7 year old African-American boy experienced his first sexual violation within the walls of his own home by a trusted member of his family. These unspeakable human violations would go on for another 6 or 7 years. Imagine the hurt and emotional scars.  No one protected him.  No one came to his rescue.  No one but God.  His mother made sure that he and his brothers went to church.

Some how.  Some way.  This man-child discovered his gift of music.  Along the way, God placed a mentor in his life who not only helped him hone his gift of music but also reinforced his belief in God and the Gospel.  As he began to make music professionally, all he could produce, arrange, and write about was what dominated his thoughts.  What he learned about way too early in life.  Sex.

It is my understanding that sexual abuse and traumas can often stunt or alter an individual’s brain development, particularly emotionally.  If professional help is not sought OR divine intervention doesn’t happen, a person can easily begin to replay their childhood traumas.   Worst case scenario, the one who was hurt begins to hurt others.  Hurt people.  Hurt people.

Did R. Kelly hurt those women as alleged in the docu-series OR was he living the “rockstar” life in every sense of the word and they were willing participants?

Tune in this Saturday, January 19, 2019 at noon for the rest of the commentary.  https://www.youtube.com/MarilynsCafeSociety

Until then, be sure to Live. Laugh. Love.

Peace,

Marilyn